Yesterday, one door to an incredible dream, that has been open for the last 6 months, was closed. When the news came over a kind email and phone call, a feeling of shock and process engulfed my body. I was disappointed, yet not fully defeated. Something that took that long and got that far couldn’t possibly be over? I was a little angry, I was sad, I was confused, but yet a part of me was still calm, cool, and collected. Part of me felt a little stupid and naive for thinking it was really a possibility but another part still feels like it is possible and it isn’t over yet. I guess all of this is the part of the process I hate; explaining to people the let down. It's easier just not to tell anyone what you are pursuing so you don't have to tell them when you fail.
Ok, ok….some of you may be a little confused because this project has remained somewhat of a secret for the last 8 months, so I suppose it is time for me to reveal it. Here goes…the somewhat condensed version…. In April, I was seeking a little bit more creativity in my life. I was bored with my job, I wasn’t doing much cooking at home for fun and my travel was put on hold due to financial reasons and the fact that for the first time in 4 years I actually had a job that I had to punch in and out of and couldn’t just pick up and take off whenever I felt like it. I have a passion for travel, food and culture, and after watching the movie Julia and Julia, a (what I thought was brilliant) idea popped into my head. What if I did a blog on travel, food, and culture? I could go to all these countries in the world or the cultural communities in the States and write about all the different cultural foods and how to cook them. I told my brother of the idea and he suggested doing it but also filming it, sort of like a documentary. Hmmmmm……there was the spark. Well, it just so happens that my roommate is an editor for a large TV production company so I proposed the idea to her and asked if she wanted to be a part of it. She was all in and the ball was rolling. We wrote up a proposal in great detail and depth explaining the idea and formatted it for submission to a big TV Network. The idea is about travel, food, and culture and is written in extremely more detail and depth but I still can’t reveal that just yet ;) At the end of May, the proposal was submitted. Within a matter of two days, we received word that the submission was received and some legal documents needed to be signed in order to move forward. Also some film was requested so they could fully review the proposal, see what I looked like, and make sure I was able to talk on camera. There was a fair warning though, that other ideas of this nature had been submitted as well. With contacts being made and sample filming requested, Sari and I set out in Chinatown to do some raw footage and put something together. The next few months were the filming process but on November 3rd, we finally handed in some final footage. Then the waiting game began yet again. Without any contact received in almost 3 weeks, we were hoping that no news was good news. I guess it sort of was. We had already gotten this far and the lady on the development team was always quick to respond. So on Monday, we sent a follow up email requesting any feedback or thoughts. An interesting email came yesterday saying that our email had excellent timing and she was waiting until after a meeting “on new projects” was completed because our project was on the agenda. COOL!!!! They were talking about it in a meeting! She requested that Sari call her when she got a minute. Sort of a bit confusing….anyway….the first thing she said was “Becky is so cute!” I guess that’s a good sign ;) Then she reminded us that there were other submissions similar that they had “passed” on and after careful review they weren’t going to pursue further development on our idea at this time. BAM! There it was. Done. Weird…..such a long process and such a quick end. Still a little frazzled and confused by it all.
With all that said, I strangely don’t feel like it’s over. It just didn’t work out in what was seeming to be the easiest manner and now another route is going to have to be pursued. I’m not quite sure what that is yet but my eyes and ears are open. I can usually sort of tell when I need to let something go but for this, it’s not time yet. I’m not sure what it would look like but something is going to happen with all of this. I can’t close the book. I can’t surrender the dream. If it was surrendered so easily it would not have been worth dreaming. So for now one door was closed but thankfully it’s in a room full of doors. I just need to figure out which one will let me in.
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